Today during King Lear lecture, Ms G once again talked about molding of a person through suffering- how Lear and Gloucester had to go through that to learn from their mistakes. Then when we looked at Lear's and Gloucester's deaths, one of the questions asked was, did they finally learn?
She used the analogies of sword making, pottery, and giving birth to point out that pain and suffering is a way of molding us. Talking to Mum in the car, she commented that it was also like King Nebuchadnezzar whom God made mad, and let him suffer in some sense. (i feel so ashamed, mum never did King Lear and she could draw this link =S )
"The same hour was the thing fulfilled upon Nebuchadnezzar: and he was driven from men, and did eat grass as oxen, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven, till his hairs were grown like eagles' [feathers], and his nails like birds' [claws]. And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion [is] an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom [is] from generation to generation:" - Dan 4:33-34
So suffering is meant to let us know that something is wrong [with us], and to help us realise things about ourselves, and mold us into Christ-likeness. Wow. Reminds of Deqi's BS teaching on suffering. (see DQ! I paid attention and rmb what you taught!) He used Moses as an example then. But it's really amazing everytime i encounter this idea, whether in school or in the Bible, to become nothing so to achieve something. I've yet to experience such a thing. Man, i feel so pampered. The only pain i ever went through would probably be caning from my parents when i was younger. =S Guess i would really need to learn how to give myself up for God so that he can use me.
Was reminded of this song when Ms G mentioned mothers going through pain to give birth to new life.
Beauty from painThe lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise
There will be a dawn
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. - Matt 16:25Teach me to give myself up for you oh Lord.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I'm here to blog. Mainly because En and Fio has bugged me about it. Ahha. I know, i know. My blog has kinda dieded? Ahha. Especially since my last proper entry was like, during national day?
...
Fine~ i KNOW it's dead, showing absolutely no signs of life. Which is why I'm sure to bring life! Ahha. Though i'm not quite sure where I want to start. Lots of things happening for a month about to pass. I realised that I've quite a number of things to say now that I've start blogging. Oh man!
Okay, I think i'll section off my thoughts, but don't expect a coherent flow of any kind.
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everything's changing
when i turn around
all out of my control
i'ma mobile
everything's changing
everywhere i go
out of what i know
i'ma mobile
That's how i've been feeling for the past month, realising that things are still changing. I've drifted from some, grown closer to others. even talked more to those i haven't really talked to. i see friends in secondary school changing as well, when i catch up with them. though it's good to see that they haven't done a 180 degree change. guess some things can never change, and that's a good thing =)
then in poiema, even has stepped down, and dad is on the look out for a youth worker. the pastors are also thinking of what to do with the third and second floor of the cc. we've also found a place to move to, so there'll be a new home.
i'm also figuring out whether God really wants me to go into dance full time. it's gonna take up time and sacrifice for sure. but i'm going to make a commitment i think. no point waiting till i think i'm ready. sometimes, you just gottatake that jump into the waters.
some people have also shown their true colours. the confrontation in the bus was... awkward. guess i picked the wrong timing. intended to pursue the issue online. but, dont wanna bother. can't stand dealing with such people who can't even give a straight answer.
coward.
i never really liked change, though i've come to accept it. thought i could rest from change after finally adjusting to jc life. man was i wrong! guess the next two years will be brimming with change.
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aqidah, yanni and i finally went out together on monday! we checked all the little boxes of what to do, except to take pictures! Ergg~! and i also didn't get my yakun meal. =( by the time we met up, it was too close to lunch time so they decided NOT to eat yakun despite my craving for it. haish. pity for me then. Ahha. and we walked around tampines mall and century square too many times to count! especially isetan. look like the two malls are undergoing some changes too. maybe it won't be so boring to shop there once we move into our new place in tampines. haha!
i also bough a belt! though i didn't get to find my sunglasses. =( was reluctant to spend on the belt initially, but i had been wanting to buy things for awhile now despite me being broke. haha. aqidah getting the belt as well was just further encouragement. =)
it's quite funny though. this is only the 3rd time we've gone out together, although we've been friends from the start of jc (after Os results) ?? haha! oh man! we need to get out more. maybe after promos then. haha.
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which reminds me, i got to reunite with kc peeps on teachers day and eli's birthday. ahha. said hi to some of the teachers in kc and caught up with my friends. i thought going back to secondary school would be weird and the teachers would forget us, but i was wrong. haha. lunched with fio, eli, jean, ho fang, and joey twice in the past month. like finally. and got to see sukh, who i thought disappeared from the face of the earth man. ahha. man, i really miss kc days and the teachers. definitely gotta go back next year. hah.
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got a chance to cut my hair on sunday! FINALLY. thanks lydia for intro-ing me to that shop. it's decent and resonable enough. think i'll be going back there next time. the lady really thinned my hair. haha. so much of it was cut that when we saw the pile on the floor, we knew it'd be enough to make a wig! haha. strangely enough, mum thought i needed to cut more. o.O haha. i'm not going to though, it's thin enough for me.
hung out with en and lyd yesterday too. well, i did work in cc and pei-ed en. lyd just joined us for dinner. thanks for da bao-ing the food up lyd! and for the photoshoped pics, they're really nice~ (i put some of them up on my friendster if any of you are interested) we messed around with the cam on uncle jeff's laptop. hah. still, it can't beat daphne's mac laptop.
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finally, it's... uh. 20 days to promos! right? haha. oh man, sarah. you need to work harder! the pace ain't fast enough. i'm never gonna make it at this rate. hah. still, i'm feeling pretty calm and relaxed about it, as in, no stress. don't know if that's a good thing though. hah. oh wells. that's all i can think of to say.
g'night world! toodles~!
PS. Fio and En, i hope this post is long enough!
